The Sauntering Pilgrim

Sometimes the most effective healing Jesus offered was no healing at all. Take the story of the man at the pool of Beth-zatha, for example (John 5:2-9). For thirty-eight years he had been there, most of his life, waiting to be healed of whatever ailed him. And for thirty-eight years he had seen others healed ahead of him while he remained unhealed, his prayer unanswered.

A footnote tells us that at certain seasons an angel would disturb the water, and then whoever stepped into the pool first would be made well. But the man in the story was slow. He had no one to help him into the water, and while he was making his way there, someone else would step in ahead of him. He remained unhealed, he said, because he had no one to help him. So Jesus asked him, “Do you want to be made well?” Of course he did, didn’t he? Why else would he have spent thirty-eight years there if he didn’t want to be made well?

One reason is that it might cost him a lot to be made well. He could have grown quite comfortable with someone else providing for his needs: food, laundry, companionship, sympathy. If he were made well, that supply would cease; he’d have to provide for his own needs; those who gave him sympathy would disappear; he’d have to make his way in the world on his own. Dependency is a costly occupation to have, but it can be an even more costly occupation to leave. There can be a very high price to pay for being made well, but there was another reason he might not want to be made well.

For most of his life, his world extended only as far as his arms could reach. He could see perhaps a few dozen feet beyond that. The unknown world that waited outside the circle of comfort and predictability he had known for a lifetime could have seemed terribly intimidating, threatening, frightening. How much easier and safer it would seem for him to stay as he was. At least he knew the territory, he knew the way life worked within the confines of his little world, and he didn’t have to risk the change and growth required if he were to live a life that was freer and more expansive.

So Jesus asked, “Do you want to be made well?” Are you willing to bear the cost, to pay the price? Are you willing to let go of the life you have known so you can have the life that’s waiting for you? Are you willing to let go of the small life you’ve been living so you can live the abundant life that’s available with the next breath you take? If you are, Jesus said, “Stand up, take your mat and walk.”

Jesus did not heal that man by the pool. There was no laying on of hands, no application of mud or anointing with oil, no incantation or words of prayer. There was no looking up to heaven, only a looking deeply into the man’s heart and the invitation for him to look there, too. Do you want to be made well? Do you really want it? Then stand up and walk. Don’t wait for someone else to help, Jesus said. Lay hold of the authority for wholeness that you already possess, and get busy living the abundant life that’s already yours.

Every day we pray to God, “thy kingdom come.” And we wait for God to provide it, for a messiah to bring it, for a teacher who will help us learn to make it, for a political leader who will impose it, for a pastor who will lead us to it, for a program that will help us craft it, for an angel to stir up the water, for a Pentecostal inspiration to set us on fire. And still we wait for someone or something to help us.

Do you want to be made well? Do you want the whole and abundant life you say you want? Are you ready to let go of the life you’ve been living so you can have the abundant life that’s waiting for you? No one, Jesus said, will say of that life, “Look, here it is!” or “There it is!” for in fact the kingdom of God you’ve been waiting for, the abundant life you’ve been praying for, is among you (Luke 17:20-21). It’s spread upon the earth, and you don’t see it (Gosp. Thomas 113). You’re so locked in your way of looking at things, the way you’ve always known things and done things, you can’t see what’s new and already in your hands.

Do you want to be made well? Do you want to taste the abundant life you’ve heard about? Do you want to be a church energetic with the spirit of life? You don’t need any of what you’ve been waiting for, neither a teacher, nor a political leader, nor a pastor, nor a program, nor an angel, nor a Pentecostal experience, nor even a messiah. You need only look into your hearts and ask yourself if you really want what you say you want, and if you’re willing to pay the price for that free gift of grace.

According to a story from the ancient desert monastic tradition, Abba Lot went to Abba Joseph and said to him, “Abba, as far as I can I say my little office, I fast a little, I pray and meditate, I live in peace as far as I can, I purify my thoughts. What else can I do?” Then the old man stood up and stretched his hands toward heaven. His fingers became like ten lamps of fire, and he said to him, “If you will, you can become all flame.” If you will, you can become all flame.